and i can't see your arms as they reach out to me (i assume they're there) i'm stuck here like it's a bad dream while your free to move about the cabin but it's obvious you're half way down the aisle while i'm still buckled into this burning fuselage that will become my grave not yours i sometimes wonder what you feel when you think of my face and the time we spent do you smile and think "that was wonderful i wonder what would have happened if i had moved out there with him" but this is for the better can't i see you've stayed unscathed and perfect in my eyes while i've gone onto wander these roads alone at night sometimes when no one's around i take out your letters and pictures and read them over and over again and realize what you meant to me i'm so sorry my dear i should have tried harder.

all praise to those who ruin others lives.

today i joined the workforce to stem this flood because without security i'll be dead and they gave me my inagural enema and my proffessional noose so when i'm fed up with this i can tie the loose end around a branch and jump to my death one more day with you and i'll be killing myself soon i've been climbing the walls for years and still i cannot please you so what am i to do with this problem maybe i'll be one of the lucky ones and survive finding my own niche in the modern world seems impossible i guess there's only one way to look at it and that's through the eyes of death.

you rockstar.

do you remember the night when we were all friends we were going to beat the world so many promises were made that night now they're all broken and i am left here in this state of disillusion, frustration, and anger i hope that you decide to step in front of a bus and as for the others they can all follow you and dance in the street i'm so tired of people pretending to be something they're not if you don't like it i wish you'd tell me and not lie to my face as they say "when you're alone that's the best time to find yourself" well i've found myself and i've found everyone else out just one question why did you do that? why, you rockstar?

majors diner, 9:07.

on the drive home tonight i stared at the stars through my open window, and as of late i've been feeling down, but the beauty of your face makes me smile and the scent of you still lingers with me, i hope that this means as much to you as it does to me

chapter 20: the one in which what's best for the girl isnt necessarily what's best for the guy.

this is the end i guess we've turned the page even though i'm still stuck on the one before this and you are now chapters ahead, can we re-read the previous few chapters, the ones where we fall in love and live happily ever after, because i'm not so sure that i'm such a fan of whats to come, when you forget me for the rest of the story, if ever you loved me please don't forget those night spent up until 3AM, those meant everything to me.

you've been learning how to live without the basement

this secret i have i'm dying to tell you, but the fear that grips my heart when you are around is unbearable, your silhouette against the sunset that i saw that night, is a picture fresh inside my mind and i won't let it fade as long as youare still here i feel as if my throat will explode with things i want to tell you, you are the strength for my days, you are the inspiration for my art and i desire to be with you, now is the time i want you here, if only this could be can we spend all our sunsets together our feet and toes digging in the sand,

 let ourselves be taken in this flood, everyones around but you're the only one i can see, your smile across the room is enough to bring me to my knees

of all the ways this could have ended...it had to be like this.

dragging my feet through this sea of melancholy faces i can't help but watch the air escape my lips and float to the surface, far away i can hear our ship groan under the beating of the waves i smile at the thought that we tried to pilot it alone now we're watching it crumble and we are dying along with it and i watch helplessly as your last breath leaves your lungs and you turn blue, i grab the arms of your ghost as we sink into the inky depths and we dance so free like we were little kids again this dream is over my dear but the memory is sweet and i still feel your warmth in my hands and we will alway be part of each other you will always be the water in my lungs.  now your head rests on my chest as we are lying on the sea floor in this eternal embrace, my fingers dig into the sand to anchor us here forever, your arms wrapped around me and i watch helplessly as my last breath leaves my lungs and i turn blue.